Never Said I Love You
by tetsia.howard
Summary: Dino bites off more than he can chew, and leaves Kyoya to pick up the pieces. Can the carnivore move on? D18, Boy love, no smut.
1. Goodbye

_"I'm sure you've heard about the explosion, Reborn." Dino's hands shook and his shaggy blond locks covered his honey-brown eyes. _

_"I did. What are your plans?" The ex-Arcobaleno had his own face shuttered; he would give his former student the illusion that his tears were hidden._

_"Is there any other plan? I have to go. They were my friends, my family… And dammit, Reborn, they were coming __**here**__. Do you understand what that means?" His voice had grown in volume, until he was almost yelling. "They were coming after Kyoya, or Tsuna… Until these bastards are gone, I'm a plague. I have to go after them." He dropped his head, staring at his lap._

_"You should tell Dame-Tsuna, idiot. He could help-"_

_"No. Absolutely not. I can't drag them into my war, Reborn. This has nothing to do with the Vongola, and I'd like to keep it that way. It's just… Kyoya…" Dino rubbed the bridge of his nose, unobtrusively wiping his eyes._

_"What will you tell him?" Reborn's voice was neutral, but Dino had known him long enough to hear the note of concern in it._

_"That I'll be back. Like I usually do. Keep him safe for me, Reborn. Please?"_

_"And if you don't come back?"_

_"Then I was too weak for him anyway. Stop trying to talk me out of this. Take care of my little brother, and don't let Kyoya do anything foolish. This is a Cavallone war. I owe it to my family to do this."_

_"As you wish, Don Cavallone." Reborn pushed himself off the wall. "What about tonight?"_

_"I'm entitled one more night of happiness, aren't I? Tomorrow, they die. Tonight… tonight, I live." He walked out of the conference room without a backward glance, never hearing the sad sigh from his former tutor._

Dino sighed sadly, staring at himself in the mirror. He had just spent the most amazing night ever with his lover… but he knew he wouldn't be back. That thought broke his heart… knowing that when he walked out that door, he'd be leaving Kyoya alone. He could only hope that Tsuna and the rest of the Vongola would be able to support him, and he thanked everything under the sun that the raven-haired man lounging like a cat in their bed had been far too surprised by his sudden return to ask many questions. Usually Kyoya's curiosity carried them both away, but he must have felt or sensed something in Dino's mood last night. The only thing the Cavallone boss could remember was soft moans, gentle touches, sharp teeth and his lover's whispered encouragements. They had fallen asleep together, and it was one of the few times that the Skylark had permitted Dino to cuddle him in their sleep… he had buried his face in the blond's chest and hadn't moved for the rest of the night.

But now… now he had to walk out there and lie to his beautiful, slightly murderous lover. He wasn't really looking forward to that part… nor what came after. Two days before, most of Dino's closest subordinates had been caught in a fatal explosion on their way to pick him up from the Vongola Mansion. Between Romario and his own contacts, they had discovered who the attacking family was, and had set a plan of attack. His second in command had begged him to get help from the Vongola, but Dino, stricken with grief as he was over the loss of his friends, could not bring himself to drag his little brother's family into the same disaster. He shook himself, running a hand through unruly blond locks and pasting his smile on his face. He took a deep breath and walked back out into the bedroom he shared with Kyoya whenever he stayed with the Vongolas.

"Took you long enough, horse." Kyoya shifted backwards to allow Dino to crawl back in bed. His eyebrow raised when he was met with a headshake. "Leaving already?"

"Aww, Kyoya, don't be like that; I'll be back in a couple days... Just be patient ok?" Dino grabbed his jacket, tossing it on before walking back over to the bed.

"Hn, 'be patient'. Why should I care, idiot horse?" The raven-haired man was obviously not thrilled and Dino winced a bit at his cold tone.

"I love you, Kyoya." The blond lifted the Skylark's chin, kissing him softly. For a second, he thought his lover was going to pull away, but he finally kissed him back, resting his long fingers on Dino's hand. "See ya soon, ok?"

"Whatever. Lock the door when you leave." Kyoya rolled back over, dragging the blanket over himself.

Dino smiled fondly and shook his head, walking out and locking the door behind him. He let his hand rest on the wood. "I love you, Kyoya… always. Please… remember that." He shook his head again, straightened his shoulders, and walked out to where Romario waited with their car.

* * *

Dino wasn't sure how much later it was… the sun had set a while ago, and he and Romario had been separated. The groans of the dying and injured were all around him, but he wasn't concerned with that at the moment. His whip flicked out and wrapped around the throat of yet another enemy, and he pulled it tight without a thought, snapping the man's neck before it recoiled back to him.

He heard a soft gasp behind him and spun, whip at the ready. Everything registered just a fraction of a second too slow… the bright, flashing red light, the soft 'beep beep' and the small silver button in the hand of someone he'd ignored.

'Idiot… Reborn would kick your ass for that mistake…' As he dove for cover, the only thought running through his mind was 'I'm sorry, Kyoya... I'm glad I got to see you one last time.' The flash of the explosion hit just before the echoing bang, and then Dino's world went black.


	2. War

The Vongola Guardians were gathered in their meeting room, watching the exchange between their boss and the second of the Cavallone family. They all knew something was wrong when Romario had shown up alone, two days after Dino had left Kyoya. Reborn had simply turned and left, saying nothing. Kyoya stared with narrowed eyes at the raven-haired man, noting that none of the bandages that crossed his chest, arms and face traveled to his legs. Just as the Cavallone family, so too was Romario broken beyond repair. The thought left the Skylark breathless and enraged.

Tsuna was shaking, heedless of the tears sliding down his cheeks. "What the hell was he thinking?"

Romario sighed, leaning back in his wheelchair and motioning with his good hand. The normally happy man was pale, his eyes bright with the tears he refused to shed. He was here begging help… as close as their two families were, he wouldn't show anymore weakness than necessary. "He didn't want this to be Vongola's problem. He was already afraid they were going to target… you or your family…" He didn't need to glance at Kyoya for them to know who he was talking about.

The Skylark growled softly, but it was drowned out by Tsuna's fist hitting the table. "Of all the idiotic, bone-headed… Dammit, Romario, why didn't you talk him out of it?! We would have helped him!"

"I tried, Decimo. I really did. But you didn't see him, didn't hear him… after the explosion, it was like a switch got turned off. He was angry. I've never, ever seen him so furious." He took a deep breath, losing his battle against the tears as he spoke of the man he'd brought up as a son, and then followed as a friend and a subordinate. "When we found out who'd done it… he said he had to come here for a night, and then we would deal with them. I begged him to tell you. I begged him to ask for help." He balled his hands into fists, closing his eyes. "He… he said he wouldn't drag you or Kyoya to your deaths with him."

The Foundation leader closed his eyes for a brief second, the barest flicker of emotion on his face; gone before anyone noticed. "Who, Romario?"

"The Amaranni family, Kyoya." Romario looked over at him, sighing softly. "We've taken out a good deal of them… but we don't have the resources anymore to finish the war, and Di-Don Cavallone's body is in their territory."

"Go, Kyoya. Do what you need to do. Call us if you need anything." Tsuna's voice was as cold as his Cloud's as he looked at him. "Bring my big brother back if you can… but make sure they don't hurt anyone else first."

"Hn." Kyoya was gone, his mind already on the battle ahead. Tsuna looked at the rest of the Guardians. "Our ally has been attacked, and our closest friend has been killed." He took a deep breath and sighed heavily. "Vongola is at war. Make the preparations needed."

Takeshi walked over to Romario, putting his hands on the back of the wheelchair. "C'mon, Old Timer… let's get you somewhere comfortable, and you can tell us anything that might have been left out." The Guardians walked out together, and they all pretended not to hear Tsuna's broken sobs as the door shut. Their boss needed some time to himself.

Chrome put herself in front of the door, nodding to the rest of them. "I'll watch him. Get Cloud-man the information he needs… I don't want to lose anyone else." Her quiet voice was filled with sorrow, and the rest of their family turned, determination on their faces as they went to their appointed tasks.

* * *

Kyoya relished the sound his tonfa made every time they came in contact with flesh. His spikes where out, there was blood everywhere… but it wasn't enough. It wasn't enough to assuage the rage in his head, and it wasn't enough to warm the ice in his heart. He was a carnivore, dammit… why did that stupid fucking horse think he needed to be protected? When had he ever needed protection? At the worst, they worked as a team…

_"Awww, Kyoya, c'mon. We're always training, I wanna take you on a real date!" Dino's voice was cajoling as he toyed with the sleeve of the Skylark's jacket._

_Kyoya just growled at him in irritation, pulling his arm away and staring at the paperwork on his desk. "It's training or you leave, horse. I don't have time to deal with your ridiculous ideas today."_

_"If you come with me, Ky-o-ya… I'll let you bite me to death anyway you want…"_

_Gray eyes narrowed, he would __**not**__ let that perverted Cavallone know how much that tone affected him. "You may buy me food, and then we train." His voice, at least, was stern, and brooked no opposition._

_Dino didn't seem to feel the same way; he gave his lover a radiant smile and pulled him out from behind his desk. "You won't regret it, Kyoya… I know a place that serves the __**best**__ steak in Italy. It's like this little hidden gem bistro… outside tables, soft music, no crowds because everyone overlooks the place…" Chattering animatedly, he ignored the ravenet's sour pout and pulled him to the car._

_Dinner had been fantastic… and the entertainment after was fun too. Leave it to Dino to pick the shadiest section of Milan he could find. Kyoya had to admit, between the grunts of pain from the ruffians who thought they'd be easy pickings, and Dino's cheerful laughter as they fought back to back, that this was definitely a more productive workout than beating on the horse again. And when they'd gotten home, and Dino's eyes had darkened to the color of warm caramel… well, there was more than one way to bite a foolish omnivore to death._

Kyoya couldn't stop the memories from cropping up, but he had a job to do, and he was damned well going to do it. One phone call, and two days was all it took him. Two days to track down everything related to the Amaranni's, and destroy it. It took him another day to find the warehouse where Dino had last been heard from. Or what remained of it.

As he stared at the rubble where the three-story building had once stood, he knew. There was no way anyone could have survived that. No way that Dino could have… a sick twisting in his gut pushed him forward, made him stumble over smaller chunks of cement as he tried to move the larger pieces away. He was panting, grunting with the strain of trying to move man-sized pieces of wall and ceiling. He slammed his tonfa repeatedly into the unmoving rubble, swearing softly with every hit that vibrated his arms painfully. That stupid, idiotic **herbivorous** - A high-pitched song on the breeze made him stop, gasping for breath as he looked up into the sky. It didn't take long for him to pick Hibird's fluffy yellow body from the cloudless blue above him. His eyes closed and his shoulders slumped as he realized the little bird wasn't singing his normal Nami-chuu greeting, but instead the song that damned Cavallone had taught him.

_Another lazy day on the roof of Nami-chuu. Kyoya's eyes were closed as he enjoyed the slowly fading sunlight, and tried to ignore the Cavallone's presence. Hibird was perched on Dino's finger and the blond was happily feeling him seeds from his palm and singing in Italian. Kyoya would never admit it, but he loved listening to Dino sing. That and Hibird were the only two noises he could tolerate when he was drifting off._

_It took him a few minutes to realize that the little ball of fluff was singing with Dino. He opened his eyes, irritated. "Don't teach my bird your ridiculous warbling, idiot horse…"_

_"I have to go back to Italy for a couple of weeks." Golden brown eyes looked over at him sadly. "I just want you to have something to remember me by when I'm gone, Kyoya."_

As Hibird landed in his hair, Kyoya could swear the bird sounded sad; the song he sang was slower than normal and he dropped his face into his hands, sitting there as the sun set and Hibird finished the last strains of the Italian melody.


	3. Hello

When Kyoya returned to the Vongola Mansion the next day, he didn't speak to anyone but Tsuna, giving a brief report about the final destruction of the Amaranni family. He told Tsuna that Dino's body was unobtainable and when the young Boss nodded sadly, he'd turned and left the office without another word.

* * *

Tsuna and Romario planned the memorial service for three days later. When Tsuna asked Kyoya if he'd like to be involved, he was surprised by his Cloud's response.

"I will not be attending."

"B-but Kyoya… it's Dino's funeral…" Tsuna spluttered as Kyoya turned icy grey eyes on him.

"I will not be attending with a group of crowding herbivores whining and sighing over another herbivore. I have things to attend to, omnivore. You can leave now." Kyoya turned his eyes back to his paperwork, signaling the dismissal of the conversation.

"I think you're making a mistake, Kyoya. You won't get another chance to say goodbye." Tsuna paused at the door, but continued out when his Cloud made no response.

As the door closed, the ravenet's head bowed and he stared blankly at his desk.

_"I love you, Kyoya."_

_"Don't say ridiculous things."_

_"I love you, Kyoya."_

_"Hn…"_

_"Kyoya, I want to stay with you forever. I love you."_

_"I don't want to be shackled to a clumsy herbivore."_

_"I love you, Kyoya."_

_"Whatever. Lock the door when you leave."_

* * *

The morning of the memorial was a bright one. It didn't seem right, somehow… Kyoya glared out the window as he heard the sounds of everyone else getting ready to leave. No one bothered him, for which he was never more grateful. No one was there to see him lean his forehead against the glass and close his eyes. No one was there to watch him bite the inside of his lip raw. No one was there… because the only person who was allowed to see those things was gone.

* * *

No one saw much of the Skylark after that. If Tsuna had a mission for him, he'd send him a message. Kusakabe would bring back a mission report a couple days later. If there were no missions for him to deal with, he'd be in the training room. His antisocial nature had increased tenfold, to the point where even his conversations with his second were quick and few. Anyone who approached him was bitten to death without a second thought; not even I-pin could get close to him. The only constant companion in his world was Hibird, and everyone learned that hearing the small bird sing meant to vanish quickly.

A month after the funeral, Kusakabe decided enough was enough.

"Kyo-san, you can't keep doing this." He was bandaging yet another gash in his friend's hand – he had no idea how he kept slicing his hands open, but he worried, not just about the functionality of Kyoya's hands, but the functionality of his mind. "You're hurting yourself worse and worse every day."

"Mind your own business, Tetsu." The Skylark's cold voice, that used to scare his second, now just made him incredibly sad.

"Respectfully, Kyo-san, you ARE my business, and have been since junior high."

"Then allow me to fix that for you. Leave." Kyoya growled and stalked to the window, folding his arms as Hibird nestled in his hair.

"K-Kyo-san… I didn't mean…"

"I said leave, herbivore, and take those damned papers with you. I have no interest in them… do what you will with them, and the Foundation."

Kusakabe picked the papers up, years of training kicking in as he headed for the door. "Kyo-san…"

"Just go, Tetsu. I no longer wish to be bothered."

It was the tired sound in Kyoya's voice that broke Kusakabe's heart… he'd been as close as anyone could possibly be to the unsociable carnivore, aside from Dino. He'd never heard that note of defeat. "As you wish, Kyo-san. You know where to find me." He bowed and walked out, unconsciously echoing the pained sigh from Kyoya as the door closed.

As his second walked away, Kyoya's forehead leaned against the glass again. His eyes closed and Hibird started singing what he'd dubbed as 'Dino's song'. He slowly sank to his knees, wrapping his arms around his chest. He hadn't cried in a month and a half… he certainly wasn't about to now… He wasn't an herbivore… he was a carnivore, dammit. With a shuddering breath, he stood, grabbed his tonfa and stormed down the training room.

* * *

Two months after Dino's memorial service, Romario and Tsuna were speaking in the Vongola's office; Tsuna had offered to let the remaining Cavallone stay with them until they were back on their feet. The office door opened after a polite knock and Kusakabe walked in with a small stack of reports from the Foundation.

"Sawada-san, I have the rest of the intelligence reports you were looking for." He set them on the desk, then hesitated. Tsuna looked up at him, head tilted.

"Kusakabe-san?"

"Sawada-san… I might have news, but… it's barely confirmed." He glanced at Romario with an apologetic look. "It seems that someone matching Don Cavallone's description was seen at a hospital in Cortona. The Foundation has reason to believe it is him, based on details given by the nursing staff." He sighed softly. "I know that we all want it to be true… but I'll be gone this evening to verify. I don't want Kyo-san knowing what's going on, though."

Romario frowned, the hope in his eyes fading into confusion. "But, if it **is** Dino, won't he be thrilled?"

Kusakabe shook his head. "If it isn't Dino-san… if we give him that little bit of hope and then snatch it away…" He looked at Tsuna. "I'm afraid he wouldn't survive it. He's already on the brink of losing everything. I won't be a party to hurting him anymore if my information proves to be wrong."

The Vongola boss just nodded. "Do what you need to do, Kusakabe-san. I pray that your information is correct."

"As do I." He bowed, sending Romario a gentle smile before walking out.

* * *

A week later found Kyoya in his room, a sloppily tied yukata wrapped around him as he stared out the window. It had been their anniversary the night before. Normally, Kyoya didn't bother with such things, but his mind wouldn't let him rest. He'd been up the entire night, tossing and turning. The coldness of the bed was almost an assault to his senses. So he'd gotten up, pacing around his quarters like a caged animal. Everything he touched, everything he saw, was a reminder of his lover. The bronze statue of the horse that sat on his bookshelf; he remembered Dino laughing and faking hurt as Kyoya had written 'stupid horse' on the bottom of it in permanent marker. The set of crystal wind chimes, with kanji of Order, Patience, and Discipline, that hung in his window; a surprisingly thoughtful gift from the Horse when they'd first come to Italy. He'd never even mentioned that he'd been homesick…

Turning from the window, he glared at the couch, where the most ridiculous present sat.

_"Your room is so dreary, Kyoya. I got you something to add some color!" Dino was beaming as he held out the overly large box, not bothered in the least by the Foundation leader's skeptical expression._

_"I already told you to stop buying me stupid things, Cavallone. Buy me something that has a use… not things that collect dust." He started to turn away, but the box was thrust into his arms._

_"Just open it, Kyoya. You are such a humbug sometimes." Dino was pouting. Really, he was such a child sometimes…_

_"Fine. But I swear, if this is another stupid statue hinting at your supposed prowess in bed…" He lifted the lid from the box and stopped, staring. What in the hell…?_

_"Ha ha, isn't it adorable!? I saw it and totally thought of you. It was too cute to pass up." Dino's arms went around his waist and he kissed his ear. "Kinda like you, Kyoya."_

_The raven-haired man was still trying to decide if he wanted to facepalm or punch his lover as he pulled the bright yellow bird plushie out of the box. "This. This reminded you… of me? How high were you, Cavallone?"_

_Dino was not disturbed in the least by the disbelief in his lover's voice as he nibbled along the back of his neck."You cuddle in your sleep, love." He rested his head on his lover's shoulder, lips against his ear. "I never want you to be alone, Kyoya… so when I'm not here, you can use this."_

_"That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. You really are an herbivore, idiot horse." The blush on his cheeks only made him more irritated, and he started to pull away._

_Dino tightened his grip, molding his body to the smaller man's back. "I miss you so much when I'm gone… It'll make me feel better if it's here. I don't care if you throw it in a closet. But… keep it, ok?" As he felt Kyoya relax in his arms, he knew he'd won._

_"Hn. Idiot." He dropped his head to the blond's shoulder, rolling his eyes. "But if you breathe a word of this to anyone, I'll do worse than bite you to death." _

He walked over to the couch, grabbing the plushie with the thought of chucking it out the window. He stopped, though, pulling it against his chest. He hated this. So much… It wasn't supposed to be him surviving after Dino's death. It wasn't… he was a carnivore. He should have been there. That damned idiot horse should have told him…

He didn't even realize he'd dropped to his knees until his fist met the floor. Damned. Stupid. Idiot. Horse… The pain in his hand didn't register as he continued to slam it into the floor. He wouldn't cry over that stupid ass! He wouldn't. He wouldn't fall prey to the herbivorous feelings he was never allowed to have again.

It took him a few minutes to realize that Hibird was singing. The little yellow bird hopped closer, sitting in front of him and singing 'Dino's song'. Really, didn't he know another tune? He scooped the bird up gently, hoping that petting it would stop the heart-rending song from repeating.

When a light tenor picked it up from behind him, Kyoya's eyes widened. He was hearing things… he would not look, he would not give his delusions satisfaction. A pair of arms wrapped around his waist and he stiffened, staring down at a tattoo he never thought he'd see again. When those arms pulled him against his chest and that soft voice continued singing in his ear, his eyes slid closed.

The song ended and Dino kissed his cheek gently. "Kyoya… my Kyoya, look at me, please…"

"No." He wouldn't. Waking up from this dream might kill him.

"Kyoya, please…" Dino sounded near tears. He hated it when the horse cried…

His eyes opened slowly, turning to look at the lover he thought he'd lost. His fist clenched and he whipped it towards Dino's face. "You stupid herbivore!" he hissed.

Surprisingly, Dino caught his hand easily, turning it over to look at the damage. "Oh, Kyoya…"

The note of sad exasperation in his voice… the same note he used every time they fought to a standstill and the Skylark had tried to insist he could continue… broke something in Kyoya. The tears he'd fought so hard against were suddenly in his eyes and down his cheeks, and later, he'd refuse to admit that the broken sob came from him. Since Dino was also crying, he was more than willing to blame the weak sound on him.

He couldn't pass off how easily his face buried into Dino's chest, though. Nor could he deny that he'd fisted his hands in the Bronco's shirt and clung to him, terrified that he'd disappear at any moment. The blond scooping him up and carrying him to bed had never felt so good. When Dino finally connected their lips, Kyoya couldn't help the soft whimper as he remembered the first time **his** horse had kissed him.

_"What the hell was that, herbivore?" Kyoya's hand was over his mouth as he stared at his 'tutor' in shock._

_"It's commonly known as a kiss, Kyoya." Dino was trying so hard not to look away, not to just turn and run. He knew… he __**knew**__ it was a bad idea, but he needed the prefect to understand his feelings, even if he didn't accept them._

_"I know what a kiss is, idiot. Why in the world did you kiss me?!" He wasn't blushing. He also wasn't thinking about how soft Dino's lips were, or how good they'd felt against his._

_Dino stepped forward, wrapping his arms around Kyoya's waist and pulling him against his chest. It was now or never… "I love you, Kyoya. I'm totally, completely, head over heels in love with you. You're the first thing on my mind in the morning and the last thing on it when I fall asleep. I want to be with you." _

_Kyoya ducked his head, blushing profusely. "Hn. Idiot." He didn't pull away when the Cavallone lifted his chin and kissed him again._

_"One day, Kyoya… I hope you love me back."_

"I love you…" The soft words, thick with tears, caught Dino by surprise. He stared down at the petite male for a minute before his eyes softened and he kissed him again until they were both breathless with it.

"I'll always be here, Kyoya… I'm sorry."

"Hn. Idiot."


End file.
